“Where does he get those wonderful toys?”
When it comes to Batman being a crime fighter we use the term “superhero” loosely. Part of the appeal of Batman is that he’s just a regular dude underneath all that tough black exterior. He’s probably jacked-no doubt-but he’s got no super strength, speed, or agility. What does he have? Well, an arsenal of gadgets and a real OCD tendency to be prepared for anything. Yet, through the years he’s had some pretty dumb things he’s pulled out of the old utility belt. Let’s look at some of the silliest.
The Bat-Card
I recently re-watched Batman and Robin for the sheer camp of it all. And while I can suspend disbelief to watch a man dress as a bat and flit around Gotham city on a zip line, I have so many questions about his credit card. First, It’s made out to “Batman”. I mean, how did he prove his identity. Does he have a bat-birth certificate? Does Batman have a separate social security number? Also, it’s good thru: FOREVER. Clearly this is a joke based on the title of the previous movie, but…really? It never expires. Seems like the credit card company would take issue with this.
Repellants
Apparently Batman walks around with several spray cans of various repellants strapped to his waist. Which-already-I’m wondering how comfortable that is. How does it not hinder him in hand to hand combat? Also, does he take his belt off every time he gets into the bat mobile? I digress, in the 1966 Batman movie a shark jumps clean out of the water and latches itself onto Batman. Luckily he had a can of shark-repellant on his person to rid himself of the pesky fish. Not to get too meta but in a 2003 comic storyline, the 60’s Batman is brought into present time, and he uses a ‘female-villain repellant’ in a fight. The point is if he’s got the technology for all these repellants, why would he ever have to fight anyone? Couldn’t he just spray them in the face with, “villain-repellant” and then slap some cuffs on them and go home?
An African Death Bee Antidote Pill
The sheer specificity of this had me cracking up. Back to the 60’s again with Adam West’s Batman in which Robin gets stung by an African Death Bee. Apparently he does so by tripping on a wire that’s in the middle of an open grassy field in broad daylight which is also labeled with a big sign… And still, he gets stung. Well, lucky for Robin, Batman has an antidote pill in his utility belt for just such an occasion.
Video Player
While it certainly came in handy when it came time to prove to Mr. Freeze that Batman was innocent when it came to his wife’s murder (Batman and Robin, 1997), I’m left wondering, how and when did he record this? Does he have a body camera recording the entire time he’s fighting crime? How long did it take him to cue up this specific clip? How did he know he’d get the chance to even show this clip to Freeze? So many questions.
Bat Labeled Household Objects
I also really love that Batman carries with him a number of household objects that he just adds the word “bat” to and suddenly it’s part of his gadget arsenal. A few that’s been used throughout the years are his bat-handkerchief, a bat-fly swatter, bat-rope, bat-lockpick…you get the idea. Not that they’ve been immortalized in the comics (yet) but I’m sure he’s got some bat-fingernail clippers, bat-chewing gum, and maybe some bat-breath mints when he wants to get up close with Catwoman. Makes sense, right?